Homework 10

Journey By Inner Light

2.  I think Kaur associated her long hair with her Indian heritage. It was long because that’s what her family did — grew their hair out. It was cultural, but not of the culture she was trying to fit into. In America, their are elements of “beauty” that are static. “This” is considered beautiful, but “that” isn’t. “That” is, but not “this.” Hair is one of the few elements of beauty that doesn’t have strict rules — it doesn’t have to be one certain style to be considered beautiful. Kaur’s hair probably looked just fine — no one would look at it and say, “Wow, how old school Indian her hair is.” But she thought it was. Thus, she had it cut into an American style that was trendy at the time.

2. I generally don’t pay much attention to what I’m “supposed” to look like, so I may not be the best authority on this subject. But for a while, the typical poster-girl for what’s “beautiful” was generally some variation of blonde (blond?). Then, of course, everyone went running to become identical bottled blondes. From what I’ve seen nowadays, hair is supposed to be long, shiny, thick, and look like you’ve perpetually got a fan blowing in your face. Hair is just another way in which “beauty” is defined by whoever it is that defines it. This, of course, can only be achieved with $27 shampoo and conditioner and hairspray and volumizer and curling irons and straighteners and…

Arranging a Marriage in India

1. It allows one to enjoy their adolescence — they don’t spend their time worrying about meeting “the one” and everything that goes with it:  the prepping, the primping, the ulcer-inducing “why hasn’t he called/texted/emailed, OH EM GEE he HATES me!” There’s no pressure from your spoken-for friends to “get your head out of books and find a date.” Because the family of the match is just as important as the match itself, families get the chance to scope each other out, for lack of better phrasing.

2. What isn’t taken into account? There are the obvious things, like the looks of the girl, the status of the family…things like that. There are other physical things, too:  height, skin color, weight, etc. But there are more subtle things, too. For example, is she too attached to her family? If that’s the case, she might not adjust well to what would be her new home. Also, is she too independent? That wouldn’t bode well for such a family-oriented household.

1. Personally, such a thing wouldn’t fly for me, but I can see how it would be advantageous. I think most of our parents know us a lot better than we care to admit. On the same token, our marriages in America aren’t based solely on compatibility. There are more intricacies than that. It’s also worth mentioned that, were we to use the same standards they do in India, I would inevitably end up the Indian version of the crazy cat lady. My independence and lack of domestic ability (I once set fire to the stove while boiling water) would end all chances by themselves.

2. I’m not entirely sure, and it’s not a question I’m going to ask right now, but I imagine it had a lot to do with familiarity. They were from the same small town and went to the same high school — which is when they started dating. Ten years later, they were married. It’s funny — these days, that’s a ridiculous amount of time to be together without being married. I guess when you’ve known someone that long and have no ticket out of Smalltown, USA, that’s what you do.